I have a problem, i apologize way too often. I am in the the majority of women who say sorry and when people get mad at them, they apologize again for being sorry in the first place. Does this ring a bell? Are we different from men or is it societal conditioning?
Research shows that women are more likely to over-apologize than men. Recent studies conducted by Karina Schumann and Michael Ross state that female participants apologized more in their daily lives than male participants. “Men aren’t actively resisting apologizing because they think it will make them appear weak or because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions,” said study researcher Karina Schumann, a doctoral student in social psychology at the University of Waterloo. “It seems to be that when they think they’ve done something wrong they do apologize just as frequently as when women think they’ve done something wrong. It’s just that they think they’ve done fewer things wrong.”
This seemingly funny video of ‘Inside Amy Schumer‘: I’m sorry, portrays a panel of professional women who apologize through out the discussion instead of talking about the important work they do.There is a moment when a member of the audience asks for advice, the panelist eventually apologizes for her advice.
From an early age we are thought to apologize, it will rectify mistakes we made and fix relationships, but it seems we can’t fight our nurturing instinct. “Women are biologically wired for harmony and nurturing. For most women the apology is a way of keeping the peace,” says Judi Clements of Judi Clements Training & Development.
There is no one solution to the problem, so what should we do? I think we should only apologize when we have done something to be sorry for. keep track of how many times we say “sorry”, and save it for when a person actually needs it.