Drinking from the Wrong Lemonade Stand

Let me cut right to the chase. I’m sure you have heard that Governor Mark Dayton and Lt. Governor Tina Smith proclaimed May 23, 2016 to be “Beyoncé Day” in Minnesota.

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Many Minnesotans weren't too happy when May 23, 2016 was proclaimed Beyoncé Day. It certainly was a love it or hate it move. What do you think about it?

A post shared by @ ck4328uk on Jun 1, 2016 at 5:51pm PDT

 

Proclaiming “days” isn’t anything new for Governor Dayton. He actually proclaimed 20+ different ones in May. Heck the Queen Bey shares her day with the Terrace Theatre in Robbinsdale, MN. So really May 23, 2016 isn’t “Beyoncé Day”, it’s “Beyoncé and Historic Terrace Theatre Day”.

Let’s push “Historic Terrace Theatre Day” aside (sorry Robbinsdale!) and talk about “Beyoncé Day”.

According to the official proclamation, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter is widely successful and has influenced many young girls and women with powerful, positive messages in her songs. That right there, is the gist of the proclamation, which is echoed in the press release that was rattled off on the local news.

Powerful, Positive Messages

After watching many fellow Minnesotans  lose their shit on social media (by the way, thank you, reading the comments was most amusing!) over “Beyoncé Day” I decided to check out the powerful, positive messages she is sharing with young girls and women on her new album Lemonade.

Here’s a taste of those powerful, positive messages:

• Hold Up

Going through your call list
I don’t wanna lose my pride, but I’mma fuck me up a bitch
Know that I kept it sexy, and know I kept it fun

• Don’t Hurt Yourself

Who the fuck do you think I am?
You ain’t married to no average bitch boy
You can watch my fat ass twist boy
As I bounce to the next dick boy

• Sorry

Let’s have a toast to the good life
Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes

• All Night

I’m gonna kiss up and rub up and feel up
Kiss up and rub up and feel up on you
[Chorus]
All night long
Sweet love all night long
Sweet love all night long
Sweet love all night long
All I wanna, ain’t no other
We together, I remember
Sweet love all night long

• Formation

When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J’s, let him shop up, cause I slay

Wrong Lemonade Stand

I’m not sure what lemonade stand Mr. Dayton stopped at on May 23 but he might want to back track and ask for his quarters back. Clearly it was spiked with a dash of stupid. The messages in those five songs, and the other seven on the Lemonade album, are powerful but certainly not what I would call positive. Next time, Mr. Dayton, buy the Kool-aid.