What is ‘Black Love’? Why is it that we feel the need to distinguish our search for love? Why do we try so hard to hold on to this idea of “black love” so passionately? We’ve seen article after blog post defending it along with some people that took the easy way out and demonized black women for attempting to preserve it.
As a Black person, I have experienced, seen and been shown images from multiple medias a community that ranks highest in poverty, abortion and illegitimate births, the “black love” ideal is our fairy tale, as marriage and nuclear families are held as myths in my community. Its the sad truth that still bothers me, but what I can still do is strive for that “Black Love” that my mother and father had—even if it was short lived, they were still friends after the love had died. The kind of love that you can find in a friend, not just in a lover. When I was young, I thought love had to include something sexual or something close to that nature but then as I got older, I found out that love does not have to include sexual activities. An example of this is seen in the movie, Creed, that features characters presented as a Black couple, the handsome Adonis and lovely Bianca, in which in one scene they share a loving moment where Adonis fixes Bianca’s braids. I felt as if this was nothing sexual but just pure and innocent love, the “Black Love”, that I could relate to as a Black woman and person from the Black community.
Across the blogosphere and magazines, we see that they often focus on “other” intraracial matrimony relationships. Until now, unlike African-American women’s publications, the popular publications such as Cosmopolitan and Latina don’t feel the need to print articles promoting “white love” or “Latin love.” In fact, we rarely or never see black men’s magazines and websites write anything relating to that topic either…
I mean, little black girls are not much different from their white, Asian and Latina peers in that we, too, daydream of husbands, green grass and white picket fences. Even with inside and outside efforts to not have black women be exposed to even more destructive behaviors, most of us know what real love is. We know its not a baby daddy/boyfriend of ten years that goes in and out of prison and we also know it’s not the pursuit of playboys or “thugs” more concerned with the “industry” life rather than our own hearts. So, in attempt to reset and re-establish our community’s future and fulfill childhood dreams, we remain true-blue to the belief of black love and are more than willing to wait endlessly, however patiently or impatiently.
But, again, what is it we are trying to attain? And, is it really a black thing?
In my mind, black love is (and will always be) Cliff and Claire Huxtable. It was fantastic to see that both of them were successful professionals (on television), but even more remarkable that their love went beyond skin color. The Cosby Show wasn’t just about a Black couple and their family; it was a show about a loving couple along with their children and showed the experiences in their everyday family life, all of whom happened to be Black. Comparably, the Obamas (in real life) have achieved the same thing. The stability of their marriage is not blackness; it’s love and faithfulness—which I feel is key come what may of race.
Thank you for reading my final blog post for this year. I was finally able to finish it and publish it tonight! Love you, love you, love you, have a goodnight:)
Until next time,