All posts by kyan1602

TFTI-thanks for the invite

Often, on social media, when a friend posts pictures of what they did last night with a group of friends, someone, and I mean someone will just have to comment, “TFTI“. It is an acronym which means, “thanks for the invite”–with LOTS of sarcasm behind it. It’s kind of like, “ok? you didn’t even think to invite me to go out/hangout/ do what you did last night? gee, thanks…”

This poses a few things about social media, our group of friends and most importantly, ourselves.

  1. Social Media: it can take a lot from a person. In fact, it can turn out to be very bad. We see what other people post: their life is of such lavishness; their life is so adventurous; they know so many people; they’re popular; they have so much “likes/followers”; they’re beautiful, etc. but really, it’s all behind the screen. Social media can deceive us so much. We will believe what we see, without a doubt.
  2. Friends: ok, sometimes, just because we’re friends on Facebook/Snapchat or we follow each other on Twitter/Instagram, it doesn’t necessarily means we are friends. Maybe we just have similar interests or we’ve met a couple times at social functions, but that’s it. Nothing more. We have to keep in mind that we’re probably not our friend’s only friend. It is okay for people to have more than one circle of friends! We shouldn’t be bitter if they’re having a great time with their other friends. Instead, we should celebrate with them, and perhaps we can celebrate with them separately at our own time.
  3. Ourself: It is true that we may feel left out, upset or hurt when we see our friends going out and not inviting us. But why do you allow it to have an effect on you? That’s what they wanted to do, so if they didn’t invite you, there is a reason. Perhaps they’ve been busy “adulting“, so give it a break. There’s no need to comment so ever irrelevantly, “TFTI”. Instead, just comment, “Looks like you guys had a great time!” Stop being so bitter about it, carry on. We aren’t entitled to be considered and invited everywhere our friends go. Invite them or hope that they invite you next time. If not, that’s okay; get out and get to know new people!

At the end of the day, understand that it’s ok to not be invited. Sometimes, even being in a room full of people, you can still feel alone. Whether they think of you or not, think of yourself and save your time from even commenting “TFTI”. Just simply continue scrolling on your newsfeed or give it a “like” “heart”.

5 reasons why it is OK for changes:

Definition of change: “to make different in some particular”

  1. Focus on the necessity of change: Ask yourself – Why did this change occur? What is supposed to be happening now that there is this change? How do I move forward? – Sometimes change happen for a reason. Find that reason and start from there to help adapt to the changes.
  2. It allows you to challenge yourself: Sure, it may get absolutely frustrating, but there is no better time than now to see what you are capable of. Maybe you are stronger than you think!
  3. Get out of your cycle… of your routine: When there’s no changes, you have no expectations thus your mind isn’t creative to find new ways on doing something you’re used to. The same routine may get boring; find a different way on how to get it done! There’s always a way if there is a will.
  4. Change is inevitable. No matter how much you don’t want it. It will come, but it won’t stay. Something new and probably better will eventually make its way, so let the storm come when it’s here–the sun will shine again.
  5. Change also means progress: you are doing fine! no. you are doing better ; it’s ok to not want to move on from the past but time is just ticking. Life is so short, we can’t get used to what we currently have right now. In a blink of an eye, everything we have can become something we’ve had; everything we want can become everything we have; everything we hated can become everything we’ve settle with. Life is amazing in all aspects. Change tells us that we are making progress by tackling the challenge with new ideas.

Change will never be easy, nor will it be too favorable for some people. But remember that it is okay. The cycle of life–it changes in every moment. Some days, you may feel like you’re high up in the sky and on other days, maybe you feel low like the roots of the trees. But what really matters is how we handle the change and how we go forward from that.

Asian American Families and The Importance of Education

All your life choices? It belongs to YOU. There shouldn’t be any one person to tell you what to do or what not to do. Yes, advices and opinions and stories and are fine and critiques are life’s greatest teacher, but no one should ever be able to tell you what choice to make.

… especially when it comes to continuing higher education.

Specifically for first generation Asian-American children, the pressure from our parents gets so heavy. The constant nagging and lectures about chasing the “American Dream” became so much that it seemed unreachable. Our Asian elders wanting us to attend prestigious universities, yet finance may be a barrier. The expectation for us to obtain bachelor’s degree, master’s degree, doctorate degrees became so overwhelming that it felt like gaining those degrees meant nothing…because they want us to pursue majors and studies out of our interest such as being a medical provider, doctor, lawyer, or business person. A “promising” major that will help us make a large sum amount of money…to be seen as successful in their eyes. Asian parents’ tend to believe on three accounts:

  1. Education is the key to succeed in life
  2. Success means having a huge income
  3. High education and a stable income brings respect to the family

The expectation and roles from our Asian parents make us so dedicated to school. We’re taught at a young age to believe that education really is the key to all aspects of life–to be able to make big bucks and be rich like our counterparts. But because the expectations can be so overwhelming, the idea of continuing higher education may not be reached upon.

There are definitely those children that follows every rule, meet every expectation and fulfill their parent’s wishes. However, it can really take a toll on them. They are successful but they may be unhappy because of the loss of their voice. They may be doing all those things to make their parents happy, but they aren’t.

Watch this short video about an Asian student’s experience with her parent’s strict rules on education:

It’s one thing to be passionate about education but it’s another to force someone to do something they don’t really want to do. When there is no motivation or passion to do what you are doing, you will not be happy even if you succeed–even if you are “supposed” to be happy.

With that, make choices to your own terms. Be considerate of others, but you can only do so much until they want to take advantage of their power. Asian parents can be very demanding but they also only want what they believe is best for you. Sometimes, it isn’t what’s best for you because it is different from what you actually want.

-KCY, 04.

Death Pranks? No thanks!

Imagine this:

You live with a loved one (family member(s), spouse, friend, etc.). You open the doors and go inside the house… There is “blood” everywhere, the house is a mess. Everything is everywhere. Every cabinet looks like it was trashed into. The place is just a complete mess.

You don’t know what’s going on. You’re freaking out but also trying to keep calm in case there’s an intruder in the house, so you’re scouting around the place–looking for your person, let’s say your partner. Calling and calling for their name and no one’s responding, but there are blood prints all over the place and really, you’re just thinking for the worst right now.

You go in your master bedroom’s bathroom. There.

Your partner in the bathtub. but that wasn’t it. It is a pool of blood. You run up to your partner checking to see if they’re alive, but there’s no response and you’re absolutely terrified and devastated. Your heart is broken, you are angry, you are absolutely mad, you feel defeated, you want to find out what the h**l happened!

All the while, only to find it was a prank. Your partner starts laughing as you’re tugging onto their cold-watered-body. You’re confused as to how they’re alive?

In this video (below) by a Youtuber family, “The Prince Family”, that is exactly what the wife pranked to her husband. It’s a 22-minute video entailing what was just told earlier in the blog.

To prank someone is to pull a trick on someone. However, I think in this prank, the woman took it too far. Death, home invasion, murders, killing shouldn’t be joked around in this way. The Youtuber family probably creates entertainment videos for a living, but the content should be more considerate to those whose experienced that kind of tragedy and way more appropriate.

“It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.”

Amanda June Bill & Jason Iannone

Some pranks actually lead to the deaths of these jokesters. The victim’s response may be different from what the pranksters may have expected, and either the prankster or the victim dies as a result. It is absolutely shameful and childish to make jokes out of deaths. There are people dying everyday and those people also have people who loves and cares for them. What makes it OK to be making jokes of people being murdered? or kidnapped? or injured? Nothing makes it OK at all!

In that Youtube prank, Bianca (the wife) started the prank by calling her husband and pretending as if she was held hostage. If the husband didn’t rush his friend and father to stop by the house, he would’ve called the cops to do a welfare check. Now, if the husband did call the cops, it would have been a complete waste of service because nothing even happened!

Youtubers in this particular aspect should continue to make entertaining videos for their viewers, but they should be more appropriate. I am sure with their creative minds, they would be able to create such better content.

-KCY, 03

Is there really such a thing as “Seasonal Depression”?

Y-E-S, YES! 

It is real, and it is true. 

But what is it? 

Mayo describes seasonal depression to be a type of depression that’s related to the changes of the season. Seasonal depression is also known as “seasonal affection disorder” (SAD). (What an abbreviation, right?) 

SAD symptoms comes either during late fall/early winter through to late spring/early summer (winter depression); or late spring/early summer through late fall/early winter (summer depression). The most common symptoms are: feeling hopeless, worthless, or guilty; having frequent thoughts of death or suicide; feel sluggish and agitated; problems with adequate sleeping; losing interests in activities you once enjoyed. 

According to Mayo, specific symptoms are as followed, and they are quite usual during those depression seasons: 

Winter DepressionSummer Depression
– Oversleeping
– Weight gain
-Tiredness/low energy
– Changes in appetite; especially
craving for foods high in carbohydrates 
– Trouble sleeping
– Poor appetite
– Weight loss
– Agitation or anxiety 

Depression in general is never easy to handle. The way people deal with it may be different—healthy and unhealthy hobbies are generally used to release the levels of depression. Sometimes, it can become deadly. 

Help is there for people that needs it. The first step to getting help is acknowledging what you are feeling. It is so important to understand why you are feeling the way you are! Life is full of ups and downs, but if we realize that we have been feeling down way more than we normally do, maybe it is time to get professional help.

There is this lamp that is supposed to help elevate your mood and improve concentration for when you are feeling SAD. In the reviews, this lamp has shown to help a customer “cope with the winter blues at home” (Maggie, 2019). The light coming from the lamp help releases the depression weight. This lamp is portable and easy to use. The person can carry it with them and use it when SAD suddenly crawls up on them.

I personally didn’t know about seasonal depression until I realized my own patterns during the winter months. It comes and go in the spring. And living in Minnesota where it’s snowy, cold, and it gets dark sooner because of setting the clocks back, it just seems to make it worse. I just ordered this lamp and is very excited to use it!

-KCY, 2

Love Your Melon

According to the Cancer Center , cancer is the “uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in the body. Cancer develops when the body’s normal control mechanism stops working…Old cells do not die and instead grow out of control, forming new, abnormal cells.” 

Cancer causes heart-wrenching, stressful, unimaginable pain and breaks apart families. Cancer is not a disease anyone wants to ask for. Patients’ treatment may be costly and painful. Not every cancer has a cure, and even those with a cure, it cannot be certain that the patient can be completely cancer-free. 

Love Your Melon is for-profit apparel company found in 2012 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Their cause is for pediatric cancer. What does that mean? 50% of their merchandise profit is given to the Love Your Melon Fund which supports their nonprofit partners in pediatric cancer. With the fund, they are able to “create therapeutic experiences and fund charitable programming initiatives for children and families battling cancer.” 

Visit their website for more information on apparel details and their purpose.