Often a genial area in the heart of a child—though sometimes, just the opposite. I’m talking about a child’s relationship with his/her parent(s). I’ve seen both extremes around me throughout my life. There’s the extreme of the parent and child who are best friends, and there is the extreme of the parent and child who are worst enemies. Somewhere in between, I would say, is a healthy place to be.
As many of you are probably at a stage in life where you have kids or are thinking of having kids somewhere down the road, please know this key fact: “Parents play an irreplaceable role in the lives of their children.” Because the parent cannot simply be traded for another without an emotional difference in the child-parent relationship dynamics, it seems that nothing can shatter the innate bond a child has with his/her parent. Sure, there are relationships that aren’t healthy and there are relationships that are stationary or absent, but still, there is a yearning in a child to be loved and not overlooked–not just by any person, but specifically, his/her parent(s).
This yearning may present itself at many different points and crossroads in a child’s life. Perhaps, when a young child falls off of his/her bicycle and the result is a skinned knee. Perhaps, a senior in high school is overwhelmed with figuring out what college or major to pursue after high school. Perhaps, a young adult is thinking about getting married. In all of the aforementioned scenarios, the child looks to his/her parent(s) for comfort, guidance, and support.
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The child-parent relationship is important for younger children as well as young adults. A healthy relationship helps young children developmentally in various ways. For young adults, a healthy relationship can mean better grades and healthier life decisions. Amidst all of the benefits of the child-parent relationship, there is danger of that relationship being obliterated. Federal judges are refusing to notice the rights of parents and the impact these rights have on children.
The argument is that the constitution does not explicitly state the parental rights, so, in that case, the government thinks it should be able to administer the child’s education and development.
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What about those who intentionally sever the bond of the parent to child or vice versa – one could argue they don’t long for that bond at all and I personally know of many where a severed bond as a toddler had no impact but the system into which they were placed did. Any thoughts on that?
Thank you for your comment. I understand where you’re coming from. I know some people who have intentionally severed the bond with a parent(s) too. That is a completely valid argument. I think what I’m trying to get across is the fact that most everyone yearns for some sort of relationship with a mother or father (or a mother/father figure). No matter how warm or cold your heart is or how young or old you may be, there is just something about that parent-child relationship that is so important and so irreplaceable. Some children are abandoned and others abandon their families. Sooner or later, I think we all realize what sort of effect that lack of support has on us. I know I have realized that in my own life. Maybe it’s just my opinion–I guess that’s why I wrote the blog in the first place!