The Problem with Graduating…

My whole life I’ve been waiting for the day I would walk across the stage, in my cap and gown, and receive my degree. I would wave to my family in the crowd and feel like I made my parents proud; but as graduation approaches I’ve been feeling a bit uneasy. Why am I fearing something I’ve always looked forward to? Is it because I’ll finally be an adult who can’t blame their lack of finances on being a “broke college student” or is it because I now have to be 100% accountable for my status in life?

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6ANlk5pqNw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Being in college has been somewhat of a crutch for me. While all my friends moved on after undergrad in pursuit of their long-term career goals, I decided to start over and pick another major. For four years I had college as an excuse for all my social and career set backs – but recently I’ve realized that I’ve help myself back.

Post-graduate depression is a real thing. Although it might not have an official term, many grads are feeling the effects of this type of depression and I’m scared I might become one too. In 2017 The Washington Post published an article by Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez titled There’s such a thing as post-graduation depression. I know: I had it. Rochaun shares her struggles, the effects of post-grad depression, and not knowing she wasn’t alone in this adventure.

“And that first week at home felt great. By Week 3, though, something changed. I had a pervasive feeling of loss and, with a knot in my stomach, I stopped eating regularly. Within two months, I was so depressed, I had trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t believe anyone would understand. What I also didn’t know was that my post-graduation emotional distress was not uncommon.”
– Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez, The Washington Post

Some of the signs of post-grad depression are “an abnormally negative perspective, decreased motivation to get out of bed, a general sense of hopelessness and, occasionally, substance abuse.” Rochaun mentions that studies on young adults post-grad depression experiences aren’t easily available and most studies on young adult depression isn’t centered on this specific issue.

As a Twitter user I come across many posts daily that cover a range of topics including college student woes. The coursework, the debt, the pressure from society to get a degree in a field that you most likely won’t work in; you can’t deny the immense stress young adults are experiencing daily. So if students are carrying tons of stress for at least four years straight, why wouldn’t they have detachment and identity issues once they graduate.

College is the addiction in this situation and graduates are suffering from the withdrawals of stress and staying up late nights. My fear of graduation stems from the extreme shift my lifestyle will experience. Although there are some struggles I will face, I need to get comfortable with failure and practice separating my life’s value from societies “one size fits all” standards. Students and graduates aren’t all the same; we think, process emotions, and value different things in our lives. It is a shame we let these standards effect us negatively and break us down; but I say enough is enough. I refuse to let this next chapter in my life be ruined by other peoples opinion on my life and if you’re a recent graduate or will be soon, try your best to reject the hate. And finally, seek help from a medically trained professional; therapy does wonders for the mind and body so take a chance.

Stressed: the New Normal

 

When did stress become an acceptable constant state of being? Oh, you’re a student/mother/father/employee/human being? Of course you’re stressed out. Of course you have high anxiety. What do you expect?

What do I expect? I expect to be able to breathe. I expect to be able to live a life that allows for more calm than chaotic. So I fight for it. I fight to give myself the permission to take a moment, an hour, a day – to find my calm. To remind myself that I need to take care of my mental health.

I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.

~Audre Lorde

Audre Lorde was not talking about taking a bubble bath or getting a massage (not to say that either of those is a bad thing), she was talking about self-care as an act of political warfare, as a MUST for activists fighting against racism in our society. Now I could go on and on about the complex issues that minorities in this country face, and why Black women are stressed at a level that the rest of us will likely never experience. But I’ll let you go down that rabbit hole on your own. This is a good article to get started:
https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/audre-lorde-thought-self-care-act-political-warfare

I’m going to take a step back. Inhale deeply. And exhale.

Ok. Let’s talk about managing stress instead. As a full-time student, with a full-time career (plus a husband and dogs), finding a way to relax is difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. I struggled for years to balance school, work, and a personal life (there’s a reason I’ve been in college off and on for 16 years). I wouldn’t say that I’ve figured it all out, but I’ve found a recipe that works for me today. So what do I do to decrease my stress levels?

• I meditate
• I let go
• I embrace
• I take care of my health

Meditation for me was an easy addition, I sort of cheated in this category. As a fortune baby (a child born into a family that practices Buddhism) I already knew one form of meditation. But meditation is not strictly religious. There are tons of tips , videos and apps out there to help you get started on your meditation practice.

Letting go. Easier said than done.

I had to start allowing myself to let go of my stress and to relax. I’m not saying to ignore your responsibilities or to pretend that nothing in the world is going wrong. Instead, I allow myself to take a break from things. Even when there’s another paper to write, another load of laundry that needs to be washed, another client project to do – I give myself the permission to put it away for a while. Sometimes I can let go completely. Does it seem like an indulgence to pay someone to shovel my sidewalk or buy those veggies pre-cut? Maybe, but it takes something off my plate so it’s worth it to me. If I can’t remove the stress completely, I take step away for a bit. I allow myself to watch a tv show, sit on my deck with a glass of wine, play with my dogs. Which leads me to…

Embracing the moment.

My brain is constantly going a mile a minute (which you can probably tell from this rambling post). That’s great at work when I’m trying to juggle a dozen different tasks at one time. But when my head is filled with everything that stresses me out, it’s important that I find a way to “stay out of my mind” from time to time. If I can focus on the present moment, and actually enjoy it, I’m calmer when I need to face my anxiety again. I take a walk with my dogs. If I’m thinking about everything that causes me anxiety I’m likely to grow frustrated when they stop to sniff for 5 min at the same spot. When I embrace the moment, I can laugh and share their enjoyment of our journey.

Finally, I take care of my health. Since this is a large topic all together I’ll share it in another post.

What do you do to cope with stress?

The Lack of Sleep During Your College Years

If you stop and ask a college student if they’ve ever pulled an “all-nighter” to study for a test, or to write that last minute paper the response is likely, “Yes”. I know during the years I’ve been in school I’ve sacrificed a lot of sleep due to my procrastination and poor study habits.  The relationship college students have with sleep is something that needs to be improved in the years to come. According to Shelley Hershner and Ronald Chervin 50% of all college students report daytime sleepiness and 70% report they attain insufficient sleep. Those numbers are quite high, but not shocking to most. The lack of sleep for college students attribute to lower grade point averages, higher rates of car accidents, and possible failure of college classes.  Not only do GPAs and academic success hinge on the amount of sleep a college student gets, but the lack of sleep also attributes to altered, negative moods.

One reason college students attain insufficient sleep is simply because there is so much going on around college campuses. Both academically and socially, students can be overwhelmed with the prioritization of their needs.  Living in a college dorm is a blessing and a curse. Each pair of roommates have a different schedule and a different set of priorities. As the years go on, it seems as though self-care and wellness seem to go by the wayside. To fix this problem, the path is a two-way street. Universities need to adjust policies and engage in campus outreach to spread the message that sleep is exceptionally important to a student’s academic success. Also, students need to realize how much of their success hinges on getting the appropriate amount of sleep.

 

Read further:
Sleep Study

Is Sleep Deprivation The New Norm?

Time to Sleep

When was the last time you woke up feeling refreshed and well rested since becoming a college student? It’s not typical when we have many classes, assignment deadlines, group projects, and class discussions that we try to cram at 11:59 pm. No one said that college was going to be easy, but who thought it was going to be this difficult getting eight hours of good sleep at night—I’m lucky if I get six!

One thing we constantly sacrifice as students is our SLEEP. There are so many negative effects of not getting enough sleep though, and it has to change… like right now. According to the University Health Center of Georgia,“On average, most college students get 6 – 6.9 hours of sleep per night, and the college years are notoriously sleep-deprived due to an overload of activities.”  It goes on to say, “Recent research on college students and sleep indicates that insufficient sleep impacts our health, our moods, our GPA and our safety.”

https://www.uhs.uga.edu/sleep

Sleep is crucial for everyone. Although we are constantly dodging it for more ‘significant’ priorities like catching up with friends to unwind from our drowning week of assignments, exams, and just a workload of never-ending deadlines, we need to start jotting down in our calendars to try get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. That way, we live a more productive and healthier life. After all, as Dr.  Knepler says, “Half the reason you’re at college really is to learn and not getting enough sleep can keep college students from their goals of succeeding in school.”

So, let’s get some great night time sleep and pass our classes well-rested.

If you want to get more tips and advice on how you can get more sleep at night, the articles below have some wonderful pointers.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/college-health/10-tips-for-better-sleep-at-college.aspx

Your Mental Health, You Should Care

Being a college student is stressful in itself due to deadlines, major projects, and weekly assignments. Many students work a full time job while juggling multiple courses and some students have families too that they need to take care of. Personally, I have had a terrible past year for my mental health due to a stressful job and major life events but I have recently been working on bettering my mental health by leaving that stressful job and starting a new one that is a lot less stressful with a lot of fulfillment throughout my day.

When trying to understand how to improve my mental health, I stumbled upon a study from the University of Michigan (www.uhs.umich.edu) that provides 10 ways to better your mental health and they include sub points as well. Such as, take care of your body by drinking more water, get enough sleep, or eat nutritious meals. There are so many important aspects to improving your mental health and even the littlest of steps can make a huge difference.

As a college student, I often stay up late working on homework or writing papers and then I work early in the morning so my sleep schedule gets ruined during each semester. Sleep is a very important factor in maintaining a adequate mental health routine. There are a lot of other factors associated with not getting enough sleep which are laid out in www.livingly.com

I wish you all the best of luck with improving your mental health because there is always room for improvement especially during the semester. I wish you all the best of luck and hopefully these links come in handy.

Clutter = Weight Gain, Who Knew??

OK I’ll admit it; I’m a bit of a control freak.

I like rules and order they give me balance and a sense of place to exist within.  Generally this translates to multiple areas of my life but since starting school I was finding myself just feeling out of control.

Within the last few years my grandmother passed away and while it wasn’t unexpected the sheer volume of stuff we as a family had to go through and make sense of was voluminous.

Relieve Finals Week Stress…

So, it’s finals week.

If you are anything like me, you are driving yourself crazy; finishing up stuff that you know you shouldn’t have put off; eating poorly; and avoiding sleep.

There are a variety of different stress relief methods which I have found to be effective to varying degrees. While some have been much less helpful to me, one has been exceedingly beneficial in helping me maintain my sanity during this high stress time of year.

I thought that this would be a prime opportunity for me to share one of the stress relievers that has been most helpful, in my experience…

Meditation.

The Mayo Clinic has published this guide to meditation on their website which clearly and succinctly explains what meditation is, several different types of meditation, and a step by step guide to the process and improving meditation skills. Follow these helpful tips and remember, we will get through this and be better equipped for it.

I hope that you find it useful.

What do you think?
Tell me in the comments section below.