Why should we care what people want to be addressed as? Why do people care how they are addressed? Why is this suddenly such a big deal?
These are all very deeply personal questions and have significantly different answers depending on who you talk to. If you have never questioned your role in the world regarding your gender then it may seem like people are making a mountain out of a mole hill. But if you personally have, or know someone close to you that as been affected by the feeling of not fitting in your role or body, then the questions start to become more understandable.
If I walked up to a very masculine man on the street and said “Excuse me Ma’am” chances are he would be at the very least confused and at worst seriously offended. Or if I am discussing a woman who is clearly feminine by saying “he and his”, this not only causes confusion but makes us question what our eyes are seeing. People are people, we all look different, act different and fill our roles in society differently. Society is the one that dictates what those roles should look like, not NATURE.
The idea of rebelling against gender roles in the US is not new. Girls have played with trucks and boys with dolls since the beginning of time, it is how these children were treated by the adults in their lives that has made the definitions required in our society. It is perfectly natural for children to play in order to find their place in this world. The colors that society has assigned to each sex, the ideas that boys are strong, and girls are delicate, and the belief that masculine and feminine should be a zero sum argument is outdated and damaging our society as a whole.
If someone tells you their pronouns, just use them as requested. You don’t need to overthink it, you don’t have to match body parts with words. If you identify as a woman and your preferred pronouns are she/her then you wouldn’t want someone to call you he/his; so that logic follows that you should respect others wishes simply for that reason alone. It isn’t rocket science.