Burnt The Fcuk Out

Here it is, the moment I’ve been waiting for. My final blog. I gotta tell ya, working full time and taking 4 classes over the summer is a btich. I have to be honest with this blog and with you all, I’ve been going pretty crazy lately. The other night I was up doing homework (my every night) and I sat down and could NOT find my laptop, like, seriously, could not find it. I backtracked my steps and was freaking out, finally I was checking the most ridiculous places. guess where I found it?

Like…really, Courtney? How? Why?

That’s right folks, I am experiencing some serious symptoms of BURNOUT.

Psychology today says that burnout is not just a simple result of long hours. The cynicism, depression, and lethargy of burnout can occur when you’re not in control of how you carry out your job, when you’re working toward goals that don’t resonate with you, and when you lack social support. If you don’t tailor your responsibilities to match your true calling, or at least take a break once in a while, you could face a mountain of mental and physical health problems.

I have an amazing job, however, I have learned some things about myself in the past 5 years at my clinic and over the past year or so finishing my degree that would argue my current career is not a great fit for me. I have learned that I work well in, on, or leading teams – I love group work. My current career does not exactly promote that nor do they need to. I also struggle sometimes with working on a client basis, and having to constantly be happy and warm and welcome – those aren’t necessarily natural feelings…in which case I have become burnt out. In fact, a lot of studies show that burnout was first recognized in nurses (similar field to my own).

What is it? What does it do?

Burnout is a state of chronic stress that leads to:

  • physical and emotional exhaustion-
  1. Chronic fatigue.
  2. Insomnia.
  3. Forgetfulness/impaired concentration and attention.
  4. Physical symptoms.
  5. Increased illness.
  6. Loss of appetite.
  7. Anxiety.
  8. Depression.
  9. Anger.
  •  cynicism and detachment-
  1. Loss of enjoyment.
  2. Pessimism.
  3. Isolation.
  4. Detachment.
  • feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment
  1. Feelings of apathy and hopelessness.
  2. Increased irritability.
  3. Lack of productivity and poor performance.

I find myself nodding my head yes to quite a few of these symptoms. I may not be at an extreme level of burnout but I am definitely going through some of this.

Lucky for me, throughout my research I was able to come up with some solutions:

Take Relaxation Seriously:
To me this means that when I DO finally have some time, I should make sure to use that time for something truly relaxing.

Cultivate a Rich Non-Work Life:
This would be like a hobby and for me it is hiking and exploring, things I have been putting on pause lately…

Unplug:
I couldn’t agree more. I do believe having my phone near me when I go to bed needs to stop. I need to start thinking about where I’ll put it…or maybe I should just turn it off?

What I am getting at here is I may have bitten off more than I could chew, and I am dealing with symptoms of burnout. Luckily, I think I made it through MDST 485, in which case my load will become just a bit lighter and hopefully it will open some time up for me to relax, unplug, and get back to some hobbies or things that I enjoy…like cat socks and tacos.

1 thought on “Burnt The Fcuk Out

  1. I couldn’t even imagine taking that many classes during the summer while working full time. Hopefully you’ll get some more time to yourself after our class is done to decompress and get rid of your stress! But hey, at least you have sour cream and salsa.. A couple ingredients used in the production of taco making!!!

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